Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Are You Kidding Me!?!? Who The Fuck Is In Charge!?

I just came back inside from snow blowing the fucking driveway... FOR THE THIRD FUCKING TIME TODAY!!! I guess it could be worse I could have been shoveling the snow... a big thank you to my neighbor across the street for dropping off his snow blower this morning!

As I was blowing snow (you sicko!) I had some time to think about the events that took place here in lovely CLE (that's Cleveland, Ohio if you are stupid and don't know airport codes).

As many of you have heard there was what is called a "pan handle hook" that blew through here and has been dumping snow on much of the Midwest for the past 24 hours. Here in Cleveland, just 2 minutes south of downtown I got about 11 inches of snow or maybe more... its hard to keep track and with the blowing snow it's any one's guess.

So I went to bed very early last nite with a migraine and knowing that I was going to wake up to a shit load of snow. I woke up at about 5 am this morning... an hour earlier than usual to monitor the snow and to get on my BlackBerry and television to monitor the school closings, (my children got fucked out of a few snow days over the James Earl Ray Day weekend) so I would know if I had to make lunches and get the kids up or if I can let them sleep in and enjoy the day off. Here's how it went...

5 AM - Wake up - Stumble downstairs... my wife is on the couch watching her recorded shows on the DVR as she was up most of the night studying for school...something about bones and shit...don't ask.

5:15 AM - Make coffee only to realize I fucking ran out yesterday and forget to get more...FUCK ME!!!! Hello caffeine withdrawal headache!!! AAAAHHHHH!!!

5:17 AM - Grab the Blackberry and hit the local news stations' websites for the school closings since I haven't received the school is canceled text from them yet.

5:18 AM - What The Fuck!!! Every school is closed but my children's school?!? I look outside... oh no wonder its not that inch or so.. no big deal.

5:30 AM - My wife is done with her show and I turn on the morning local news and what do I see?? Live reports on the storm and it is horrible outside.. uh ok not here?!

6:00 AM - Still no call off... time to make lunches and get the kids' uniforms ready

6:15 AM - Lunches done. Still no call off.

6:30 AM - Still no call off... What The Fuck... Every One is off.. where is my children's school on the list?!?!?!

6:45 AM - Time to get the kids up for school as I am walking up the stairs I look one last time on my Blackberry... Finally!!! No School... premature awaking avoided.

7:00 AM - Go outside to start shoveling the driveway.

So I step out side after donning the proper clothing and the snow is up to my mid calf... WOW I guess it is bad.

So I begin shoveling and notice my neighbor across the street, who I am very good friends with, is snow blowing his driveway... as I toss the snow one shovel at a time I look across the street longing for him to bring that thing over here and he did!

So I come back inside a short time later and look at the school closings again just to see who else is off.... wow pretty bad...every one is off... wait a minute... where is Cleveland Public Schools? Wow must have missed it.. let me check the websites... nope not there... You Have Got To Be Kidding ME!?

Now I am lucky that I do not have to send my children to Cleve. Public Schools as it is quite possibly the very worst school district in the world... ever hear of the voucher program? It went all the way to the supreme court! It is a lottery that if you win you can choose to send your child to any private school within city limits... for either free or reduced tuition... boy I sure wish we had won..anyway. If your city has the voucher program you can thank Cleve. Public schools for being so horrible as it was started here in Cleveland!

So living in CLE not only are the schools shitty but so is the local government and most of all... the service department, more specifically the snow removal department.

At the beginning of this winter season the city was out bragging that this year the snow plowing will be bigger and better and they will get the side streets plowed faster (last year after the huge March storm we didn't get plowed for a week and then when they finally came the plow got stuck.)

But we all knew better.. so the days before James Earl Ray Day we got a little snow storm.. about 6 inches or so.. enough to call off school as the temps were dipping below 0 degrees... but alas not CLE Public Schools... so there is a shit load of snow so the poor kids walking to school have to walk on the dangerous snow covered streets as none of the side walks are passable... one kid is riding his bike to school and a Cleveland School Bus hits him and just keeps going... luckily someone saw him and got him help but still almost died... after 24 hours they figured out which bus driver it was and charged them with multiple felonies. Guess what?! Yup it was a fucking broad driving the bus!

So that should have been a lesson to the administrators of the school district..right? It's better to miss a day of school than risk your students' lives...right??? Fuck That! Rumor has it that the head of the district gets a cash bonus if they do not use their calamity days!! "Fuck the kids I's wants a get paid to support my crack habit!!" Fucking nigger ass jackass fuck!

So today... the poor kids that attend Cleveland Public Schools are all over the news this morning trudging to school in the snow up to their knees in the street and my kids are tucked in warmly in their beds dreaming of quantum mechanics!

Oh no it doesn't end there... parents are pissed and raising hell and the snow fall gets heavier and heavier and it is piling up higher and higher and the roads are now far worse than they were this morning... what do they do???


Are you fucking kidding me?? Who the Fuck Is Running This Place?!

So let me get this straight... now that it is worse you want these kids' parents (many of who are already at work mind you) to go out and get their kids and send the kids who walk back out to walk home in traffic?!

Now how fucking irresponsible is that?! As I said.. I am lucky that I do not have to send my kids to Cleveland Public Schools!

With that over now I sit and wait.... and wait... and wait for a snow plow to clear my street. The snow has ended for now but another system will push through tomorrow and dump another inch or two and we will get buried even deeper.. but alas we still wait.

Their excuse is... we need to clear the main streets first... fine... do it.. clear them... and hurry the fuck up you lazy fucking bastards!

My wife ventures out to the store for coffee and the ingredients to make soup (it is definitely a soup day... baked potato soup it is!) and she reports in.. all surrounding communities have clear roads! I ask, "How is CLE?" She replies, "SHITTY... not a plow in site and it doesn't look like the main streets have been touched!"

This is 12 hours after the snow started... WHAT THE FUCK...this is what happens when you unionize a city! The city works don't give a flying fuck! In fact last year one of my neighbors who is a Cleveland Firefighter had the fire department use their official plow do his driveway... they plowed it right up my fucking driveway as I stood there trying to comprehend what happened... and then they pointed and laughed at me.. yeah I want them rescuing me... douche bags. We actually called the fire department to complain... they tell my wife that they do not even own a snow plow truck.. WHAT??? It clearly said Cleveland Fire on the fucking side... this is why I hate people!!

So today I snow blowed the end of his driveway in from the snow from the street.. fuck you ass fuck!!!

So where does this leave us? Well besides wanting to move south... no where... I am still basically snowed in as it is a feat in itself to get off my street right now.

I may have to go snow blow again here soon and I fucking smell! I need a damn shower! I smell like some fucking low class white trash hooker's pussy right now! Why is it that when you got outside in the winter to shovel snow you sweat more than you do in the summer running 15 miles and you also end up smelling worse... is it the extra clothes??? My God!


Hope you're warm... I'm not!!!

PeAcE OuT!


  1. It really is a horrid time of year, isn't it?

  2. i have a condo association who takes care of my heavy lifting.

    the only cleveland street that was decent was w130th street...but i couldn't tell if they plowed or with the 480 closure it was just trampled down.

  3. UPDATE: Lastnite at about 2AM the Cleveland City Plows came down my street! Maybe they read my yeah right.. but I know not to get used to will probably not happen again... EVER!