Monday, April 27, 2009

Throwing Quarters' Podcast #5!

Hey just a quick post to all you suckers that read my blog... I hooked up with Adam at I don't give 2 cents, I throw quarters for his latest podcast which he posted lastnite... we featured the music of DOT DOT DOT so at least that rocks... its pretty much brain vomit but not as bad as Twitter. I have the podcast embedded here but also go check out his blog anyway.

Thursday, April 9, 2009


I'm gonna move to Somalia and become a Pirate... But I'm gonna teach them how to act like pirates like say AAARGH & that you leave Americans the fuck alone! I'll also bring along Calicolyst and his kick ass Lego AEGIS Cruiser for protection.

Any way.. like many people I know I have been following this pirate crap on the news like a damn soap opera over the years but until yesterday I never gave it too much thought. Yesterday changed when these idiot Somalis decided that they would hijack an American Freighter with an American Flag... didn't these idiots see what happened on Sept. 11??? We Americans actually fight back... on a historical note.. this is the first time that Americans have been held on the high seas by a pirate since 1804... and damn it they were African too... what the hell?!?! It's gotta be Obama's fault some how... that's for another blog.

But then I started really thinking about it.. the media is calling them pirates.. are they really pirates???

You gotta love Google.. or as I call it "The All Knowing Oracle"

According to
Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary Piracy is defined as such: (Common Law) Robbery on the high seas; the taking of property from others on the open sea by open violence; without lawful authority, and with intent to steal; -- a crime answering to robbery on land. Note: By statute law several other offenses committed on the seas (as trading with known pirates, or engaging in the slave trade) have been made piracy.

I guess I always thought of piracy as taking someone's boat and stealing the treasures aboard and this is not what these pirates are doing.. the really just hold the crew for a ransom... but hey tomato - tomatoe right?? Its easier to get people to watch your news station if you mention pirates... it just sounds better.

It seems that America has a fascination for pirates... or maybe its just my fascination... I would love to be a pirate.. but the pirates of today need some help with their image.. they look stupid and desperate... take a look here:
I personally would like to be seen as the Blackbeared fellow... he just looks like a fucking bad ass!

Here are the first things I would like to teach the modern day pirate:

1) Leave the Americans alone dude... we have a history of fighting back against tyranny and most recently terrorists... its just not worth it.. Americans will unleash hell for just one of their countrymen... go after the French... they are pussies and they just suck in general.

2) Take the damn ships and sell the cargo on the black market... you are limiting your potential income by only hold crewmen for ransom... yeah you are getting a few million a head but have you thought of what you can get for the fucking Ipods and PS3s on those ships??? Have you ever looked at Ebay?? PS- if you aren't gonna take the ship light it on fire or something.. or blow it up... explosions are fun

3) Walk the walk and talk the talk... yeah the guns are cool.. but also carry a sword.. it is a sign of power.. and also make sure you know English very very well... it will make everything go easier as English is the language spoken by the most countries but you have to do it with a pirate accent... like AAARRRGH matey... just watch Pirates of the Caribbean its gotta be on one of those ships you take. And grow a damn beard and get a parrot!

4) Target the countries with a small navy... that way you won't have to worry about them coming after you like the US is doing with our war ships.

5) Don't overtake a vessel on a rubber dingy... don't be stupid... you look like a fucking idiot... get a big fucking ship with guns and shoot a cable over and slide across... that is bad ass.

I hope this helps... damn it would be so cool to be a pirate.

Finally... someone with some freakin' balls!!!

Ok so once again I have seemed to piss people off with my Facebook status and an insulting discussion has begun so I am moving it here so I can make other mean comments in my Facebook status and piss people off. So here is how it went down... hopefully Jason won't puss out and continue the tirade here!

My Original FaceBook Status Message: Stephen wants to thank all you morons that voted for Obama... what did you really think was gonna happen... assholes!

Now I must clarify before I go any further... I wrote this right after I found out that two of my credit cards we closed by the issuing company for absolutely no reason... Payments were made... were well below limits. Earlier this year on of those cards limits was cut by a drastic amount due to the credit crisis... we coped.. but now they closed two accounts for the same reason which is having an adverse effect on my credit... so who is supposed to fix it??? Obama... but obviously it has gotten worse... I'm not gonna call it a credit crisis like Obama the fuck head I'm gonna call it a credit panic.

So back to the exchange:(Last names have been removed to protect the guilty)

Jason W. at 7:45pm April 7: I take offense to this!

Stephen at 8:14pm April 7 via Facebook Mobile: Good!! Think before you vote next time... Think about the consequences when you vote for someone who has no idea what they are doing.

Jason W. at 11:16pm April 7: What I take offense to is your lack of respect. I don't tolerate being called an asshole. You should think about the consequences of calling someone an asshole.

I feel sorry for you. I'm sorry you have to deal with all the pressure in that narrow mind.

I hope you enjoy your Fox news!

Julie G. at 7:23am April 8: You're welcome. :-) It took Bush 8 years to put our country into the mess it's in now. It'll take Obama longer than 3 months to fix it all.

So after that I mentioned I was moving it here.. it look a while because of work and all but here is my reply:

To Jason: My lack of respect?? How so?? Last I checked respect is earned not given and putting Obama in power deserves a beating instead of praise. As for the consequences for calling someone and asshole.. there really aren't any I can see... last time I checked this is not yet a socialist country and i still have free speech therefore I can call anyone I want an asshole... or would you prefer FUCKING ASSHOLE???

Perhaps my friend you are the one with a narrow mind by not opening you eyes to what is happening... we have a government FORCING private industry and financial institutions to take money and in turn the government is forcing their will on these companies (i.e. Obama himself firing the CEO of GM) I don't know about you but I would be very very afraid of what is next for you and your family... I have and it scares the fucking shit out of me.

To Julie: We can only blame Bush for so long on this economy crap... who we can blame more for it and for the two wars is Slick Willy Clinton... the felon and adulterer... for just sitting there and watching the terrorists get away and the economy slip... don't forget Bush also inherited a recession... we have had over 20 of them in our country's history and we will have many more to come.

That all said please comment and lets keep this discussion rolling.. this is fun!!!