Monday, February 9, 2009

Celebrity Endorsements... The New Plague!

Have you ever noticed the bullshit that celebrities try to get you to do, say, buy, think and vote for? Oh wait... you're probably one of the mindless sheep that actually think celebrities are smart and they know what they are talking about.

You're an idiot.

Celebrities are idiots.

I really don't care what Tiger Woods is drinking... does his special Gatorade make him a better golfer? I think not... but you'll buy it because it has his name on it... and you'll pay more for that privilege... you're an idiot... it is the exact same shit in a bottle that was invented back in the mid 1960's... its just a different color!

Did you send money to those mysterious children in Africa because Sally Struthers said they would die with out everyone donating them money??? Ha Ha... dummy!!! I didn't send money... I guess they died...maybe that's why those commercials aren't on anymore.

Now we have celebrities moving onto network news for Darfur... what a fucking hoax. Do you really think that Brad Pitt and George Clooney left their luxurious mansions to go hang with the Darfur peeps and live in a tent on a pile of elephant shit???

Yeah I really don't think Darfur really exists...I mean come on.. who would name their country Darfur?!?! They hook you with those damn hot words like "genocide" or "refugee camps" If Darfur really exists and what they say is really going on I suggest a new word for it... it will not be genocide but "Natural Selection!" This has been going on since the dawn of time...who are we to stop it... its the survival of the fittest.

Who can forget the biggest celebrity hoax of all time?!?!? Yup you guessed it!!! Al Gore and his global warming!!

Did you watch his stupid movie?? In case you didn't notice it had nothing to do with global warming and everything to do with him... it was an autobiography.. don't believe me??? Then answer me this smarty pants... what did his dead kid have to do with global warming?? Did he die of a sun tan?? Let's set the record straight... the math doesn't work on global warming... it doesn't exist...its just another way celebrities are getting you to part with your money unnecessarily by buying more expensive Hybrid cars and recycled paper...throw on some musicians singing songs about it and now you have to reuse your toilet paper... its bullshit and you are an idiot for believing it....while we are on it... your little causes you join on Facebook and putting some stupid status message about saving the Earth.. yeah it didn't help anything... in fact you just wasted electricity joining that cause and putting it in your status section... you're a fucking idiot!

Speaking of math...this is the best one... this past Presidential election... yeah most of moronic Hollywood drank the Obama Koolaide and endorsed him... hell LeBron James and some gangsta' rapper had a free concert here in CLE for him... this just shows you how stupid celebrities are.

Remember Obama's raise taxes on only those making more that $250,000??? Yeah that means you celebrities! Now who in their right mind would vote for someone that will raise your taxes??? Oh wait he was black... OK that changes everything... NOT!!!! He's still an idiot and the celebrities that cheered him will pay and regret it just as the rest of you are starting to now.

Why can't we get get quality endorsements?

Like Michael Phelps endorsing Zig Zag rolling papers?? Now that's an endorsement that actually means something and is useful or Britney Spears for Surgi Wax Brazilian Complete Waxing Kit.

These are endorsements that people can believe and appreciate and have seen them in action!

So please please please stop doing what these celebrities are spewing out of their mouths! They don't know any more about politics than the guys down at the local watering hole and they don't know more about diets than your doctor... in fact they are dumber than the average person... why would you do what they tell you when they spend their lives pretending to be someone else... just because they played a smart person on TV does not make it true!

An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a very narrow field.
- Niels Bohr


  1. If I were a celebrity, I would endorse lumber. I would run an ad saying "Lumber: fuck yeah!" and get people to start buying 2x4s again.

  2. See now you got it... what a useful product lumber is!!!